


Candy Canes

by morrezela



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Crack, Elves, Holidays, Knotting, M/M, Mating, Mildly Dubious Consent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-24
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 07:12:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morrezela/pseuds/morrezela
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is one of Santa’s elves, and he’s only got the month of December to woo and win the human boy that is destined to become his mate. Too bad Father Time hates him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Main Story

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Crack! Knotting, claiming, cheating of the kissing another person kind, allusions to attempted dubcon and slight references to physical fighting.
> 
> A/N: This is my fourteenth fill for my Hurt/Comfort Bingo Card. The square is ‘arrest.’
> 
> This was also written in response to a spnkink_meme request. 
> 
> All mistakes that you find are my own.

Ever since Jensen’s birth, Father Time has had a hard on for making his life miserable. The reasons for this aren’t even Jensen’s fault. His mother was the fairest of the elves, and Father Time fell in love with her and her timeless beauty.

But Jensen’s mother was still an elf to the very core of her heart, and that heart belonged to the human boy that she had picked so many years before. His letter had spoken to her, and despite Father Time’s best attempts to woo her away, she had gone on her appointed year and succeeded in securing the love of her human.

Jensen was born the very next year. He was born early for no reason that the elf doctors could explain, and as a result was a very sickly little elf child who couldn’t run around playing little elf child games.

He spent a lot of his time with Rudolph because Rudolph had some sort of thing for misfit kids, and babysitters cost a pretty peppermint to hire. Elves were very busy all year long making presents for the Christmas season, and child care was practically unheard of because baby elves were swaddled in their cribs next to the present wrappers or seamstresses or other jolly making tasks that wouldn’t harm a baby elf’s sensitive senses.

But most baby elves weren’t ill like Jensen. He sneezed at the wood shavings from whittling wooden trains and shrieked when the miniature toy flutes being tested out were the tiniest bit off key. His little baby eyes would water at the scent of Christmas potpourri, and there was just nowhere that Santa could assign his parents that wouldn’t hurt his delicate system.

So Santa had a talk with Rudolph, and it might not have been sleigh guiding, but the reindeer was a pretty good fellow and was more than willing to care for an elf that just couldn’t fit in anywhere else.

Getting to know a living legend was cool and everything, but Rudolph was old. He didn’t have the energy to play, and while his wondrous stories of Christmas past were great for Jensen’s education, they didn’t serve to make him the most popular elf in the village.

In truth, Jensen ended up getting the reputation of being a geek from it, and that was even before he learned how to read. Looking back on that time, Jensen thinks that it was pretty unfair to label a preschooler like that, but at the time all he had wanted to do was avoid being noticed. Standing up for himself wasn’t something he learned until much later in life.

The year that Jensen learned to read, earlier than his fellow elves because he was cursed that way, and Father Time himself called Jensen a book worm, Jensen found out that he needed glasses. And hey – far be it from the elves to learn anything from their reindeer counterparts. All of the other elf kids didn’t want Jensen to play any games because he was shrimpy and slow, and they had to worry about his glasses falling off and breaking.

So Jensen started reading the Santa letters earlier than his peers. If he was cursed with poor timing, then he might as well get a head start on finding his one true love right?

Wrong.

Jensen spent years reading letter upon letter upon letter. Other elves his age would come into the ‘nice’ room to read the notes and cards and sometimes epitaphs from human children and walk away within hours with the childish scrawl of the lucky human who would one day hold their hearts.

Not Jensen. No, the only thing that Jensen got out of the deal was a few thousand paper cuts, crossed eyes, the ability to read even the most atrocious of handwriting, and a keen understanding that human children sucked just as much as elf children did. From the letters, he got the impression that the ‘naughty’ kids always picked on the ‘nice’ ones.

As literal years went by, Jensen began to worry that he’d never find his letter. Maybe his ‘one’ didn’t believe in Santa Claus or even worse, was on the naughty list. The day that he opened the barely legible card from one Jared Padalecki of Texas, Jensen burst into tears of joy.

The list was scribbled out in crayon, a different color for each letter. Jensen could tell where the boy’s mother or father had helped to steady a little, chubby hand because while the letters were smoother and easier to read, they didn’t speak to his heart the way that Jared’s own scrawl did.

Jared was four years younger than Jensen. It was a little bit of an age gap for an elf because they normally picked a mate who was within a year of their age, but it was hardly an insurmountable gap.

Of course, with Jensen being so much older, Santa had to assign him a later than usual courting year. He had to give Jared time to grow up and be human, and Jensen had to admit that he nearly went crazy with jealousy when his peers started bringing home their mates.

But, worse than his jealousy was his worry. Not all of the elves came home with their beloved human. The courtship period was very strict for wooing one’s human mate. December first until the stroke of midnight on January first were the days that one had for securing the affections of one’s beloved human.

As far as Jensen understands, such a time period is very short for human standards. But he had always held out hope that he was going to make it. All he had to absolutely do was make certain that he kissed Jared at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve. They didn’t even have to have sex!

Yes, Jensen can admit that he’d have liked to have had sex with Jared. That isn’t the point at the moment though. The point is that by the time that Jensen’s appointed year came around, Jared had managed to pick himself up a human boyfriend. And sure, said boyfriend was a jerk whereas Jared was a sweetheart, and it hadn’t been very difficult for Jensen to steal Jared’s heart away.

But said boyfriend is also a devious asshole.

That little fact is how Jensen came to be locked up in a jail cell on New Year’s Eve, no Jared in sight, watching as his future ticks away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared has always thought of himself as a rather sane and down to earth kind of guy. Sure he was the one who spouted off about love at first sight and stuff, but he wasn’t crazy like some people. He knew better than to let some flim flam artist take a hold of his sensitive feelings and manipulate him, and he certainly knew better than to let some stranger walk into his life and turn it upside down.

At least, he thought that he knew better than that. Now he isn’t so sure.

He met Jensen on the first of December, and yeah, it’d been nice to be paid attention to for a change. His boyfriend Ryan had just called to cancel another date, and while Jared liked to think of himself as understanding, sometimes it hurt to come in second place to his boyfriend’s career. Ryan was notorious for having to break dates, and Jared understood that he was a very busy lawyer, but that didn’t mean that he liked being stood up all of the time.

So he’d been sitting alone at a bar when he first met Jensen. If anything, he’d been struck with how out of place the guy looked before he noticed anything else. It was almost as if Jensen had never seen anything remotely resembling the inside of Mulger’s Saloon. His eyes had darted everywhere, not awestruck, but taking in every little detail.

Then those eyes had landed on Jared, and Jensen’s lips had curled into this beautiful smile that had made the corners of his eyes crinkle. From that smile, Jared figured he might as well check out the entirety of Jensen’s body.

Jensen was gorgeous. Tall and muscular with fine features that were just strong enough to be masculine. He’d taken Jared’s breath in a way that Ryan never had, and Jared’s heart had started to pound without his consent.

It all went downhill from there, or uphill depending on your view of the situation.

Because Jensen turned out to be awesome even if he did perpetually smell of peppermint and some woodsy scent that was a mixture of pine and what Jensen said was holly. And sure, when the gifts started up they were a little odd. A hand carved whistle? Who the hell whittled anymore?

But the precisely made little train with its track and caboose had been so adorable, and Jensen’s shy smile had been perfect, and…

Okay, so Jared kind of kissed him. A lot. Jared kissed Jensen a lot, and it was awesome. Awesome enough that Jared called up his boyfriend on the tenth of December and dumped him.

Jensen lit up like a literal Christmas tree when Jared told him the news. For a second Jared actually thought that he saw a haze of different colored sparkles surrounding Jensen before they quit staring at each other and started making out like idiots instead.

It had been nice to make a date and have it kept. Hell, half of the parties that Jared took Jensen to Jared’s friends actually thought Jensen was Ryan because they’d never gotten to meet the fabled boyfriend.

And Jensen was nice too. Not just in the present giving, doting way, but he really paid attention to what Jared said. He asked what Jared wanted and was willing to discuss and talk, and Jared should’ve known that it was all too good to be true. Nobody developed feelings for another person so quickly. Nobody just gelled within days of meeting, not like he and Jensen had.

His first clue should’ve been the time that he kissed Jensen under the mistletoe. They’d been yet at another holiday party, having a good time when Jensen had wandered under the mistletoe hanging in a nearby archway. His big, green eyes had stared at Jared so imploringly. He had looked like a lost puppy. Worse: he’d looked like a little abandoned kitten, and what kind of monster would it make Jared to ignore that kind of request?

So he’d kissed Jensen. It wasn’t long or thorough. Jensen was shy in public, and Jared could respect that. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t gotten rewarded. The look on Jensen’s face when Jared had pulled away from their kiss… It had been beatific. He had looked at Jared like the sun and moon both sat upon his shoulders. He had looked at Jared like some silly kiss under the mistletoe had really, really meant something to him.

That should’ve been a big honking warning sign. Who thinks that a mistletoe kiss means anything? It’s like a spin the bottle kiss, right?

But all Jared had thought at the time was how perfect that smile made Jensen look. He might even have thought about how much he loved Jensen, and how it was shaping up to be the best Christmas ever.

On the twenty-second of December, Ryan finally realized that Jared had dumped him. He came looking for Jared at his apartment, and Jared hadn’t even looked before opening his door. Jensen was supposed to be coming over, and Jared had promised to bake him cookies if he brought the rest of the food. Apparently, despite having amazing toy making and cooking skills, Jensen couldn’t bake cookies. He’d said something about it being a genetic condition, and that should’ve also sent up some red flags.

Who can’t bake cookies?

In any case, Ryan was standing there all decked out in his business suit, looking not half as good as Jensen did in his red or green sweaters that he kept wearing to all of their dates.

Jared hadn’t wanted to fight with Ryan. After all, it’d taken the guy twelve days to, “…realize that you really meant it, Jay.” Who wanted to be with a guy like that?

But then Jensen came over, and when Ryan demanded to know who Jensen was, Jensen informed him that he was Jared’s boyfriend. It was a little soon, sure, but it wasn’t like they hadn’t been acting like it.

They fought for a while, and then Jared fought for a little longer while with Ryan as he escorted the man out of his apartment and right back down to the street.

Jensen hadn’t asked questions when Jared came back up to the apartment. He’d just said, “I’m sorry you had to go through that,” and given Jared a gentle peck on the cheek. It was the sweetest gesture, and Jared would be lying if he said that he hadn’t melted a little at the way that Jensen hadn’t made the intrusion ruin their night.

That Christmas Eve and Christmas were the best two that Jared had ever experienced. Even though he couldn’t spend them with family, he’d been with Jensen, and the guy’s enthusiasm for the holiday was contagious. He was like a six-foot something child, making up stories about reindeer and mean elf children and Father Time and… It had been enchanting.

At the time, Jared hadn’t realized that Jensen had actually believed the crap coming out of his mouth.

But on December thirtieth, Jared’s fairy tale romance came crashing down around his ears. Ryan had a little investigating done. It seemed that there was no Jensen Ackles on record of having been born, but there was an Ackles who had mysteriously gone missing right after Christmas some thirty odd years ago.

Sources said that a beautiful, green eyed woman had seduced him. She told him that she was an elf, a honest to God lives at the North Pole elf, and poor Richard Ackles had apparently bought the line.

And sure, Jensen is too young to have been a part of that, but his modus operandi is the same. The police figure that he’s the member of some sort of weird cult that abducts people.

Jared feels bad. He feels bad because Jensen seems like a nice guy. It isn’t his fault that his family or whatever fucked around with his head for years and years and made him think stuff about himself that isn’t true. And sure, signs point to the fact that he was planning on kidnapping Jared, but if he’s not right in the head, has been brainwashed, that isn’t truly his fault is it?

But Ryan knows people who know people and he got Jensen put in jail for his planned attempt to abduct Jared. He’s in the slammer pending evaluation, but Jared isn’t sure that it’s any better than actually being in the funny farm. It’s probably worse. If Jensen was in an institution he’d be getting drugs and those fuzzy slipper socks that they show on television or something.

As it is, he’s in the local lock up with nothing but his jeans and green cardigan that he was wearing when the cops came to take him away. They’d been on a date, window shopping before going to get their lattes at what Jared had dubbed their coffee shop. At first, Jared had been outraged at Jensen’s arrest. In truth he still is. Ryan had some fucking nerve intruding on his life like that.

The bastard had acted like he was some knight in shining armor come to rescue Jared. Was a phone call too much to ask? The answer to that was of course a fucking phone call was too much to fucking ask. It was Ryan, after all, the dickhead would never do anything that he couldn’t capitalize on.

Never mind that Jared had gotten ambushed and had to watch the man he lo… Poor Jensen dragged away in handcuffs while Ryan slung a supposedly ‘consoling’ arm around Jared’s shoulders and mugged for the cameras. Never mind that Ryan could’ve not talked his buddies into immediately swarming down upon Jared because he was in ‘imminent danger.’

Instead he had to embarrass both Jared and Jensen in public for the sake of his own ego, and then had the balls to think that Jared should swoon into his arms like a damsel and then got pissed and started throwing things around in Jared’s own apartment when Jared didn’t fall on his knees and give him a thank you blow job.

Jared sincerely hopes that Ryan likes his black and blue dick, because it’s the last gift he’s ever giving the asshole and certainly the last time that he’s ever so much as looking at the man’s groin.

And the attempted assault that Ryan is now booked on? Jared hopes that Ryan had a fun time getting paraded in front of the cameras for it.

It should’ve felt good, sending the jerk packing like that, but Jared only feels hollow. His taste in men has proven to be seriously questionable, and what is worse is that he still wants to go and see Jensen.

He misses him. The thought of him alone in that jail cell has Jared aching. It’s not fair to have to spend New Year’s Eve like that. Granted, it isn’t worse than Christmas, but still it’s got to suck.

After all, Jared feels horrible, and he isn’t the one rotting behind bars waiting for the monkey ward to come calling. He can remember how they’d planned to spend the evening downtown, enjoying the last of the holiday spirit and the Christmas lights that hadn’t been taken down yet. Jensen had waxed poetic about kissing Jared at the first ring of the New Year’s chime, and he’d been so happy about it that Jared’s own mood had been lifted.

Crazy or not, Jensen didn’t deserve to be alone.

So Jared bundled himself and drove down to the police station. It wasn’t protocol to allow somebody in so late at night, but Ryan’s police buddies were looking to stay out of being reprimanded. Maybe later they might turn into self-righteous assholes, but at the moment they were running scared.

When Jensen is lead into the visitation room, his entire body lights up again, just like it had on the day that Jared had dumped Ryan, and the guard escorting Jensen blinks like he sees it too.

“Jared,” Jensen whispers, taking a half step towards him before stopping at the guard’s grunt.

“Hey,” Jared greets, keeping his hands firmly in his pockets. His hands want to reach out and grab Jensen so that he can reel in the shorter man, elf, man-elf in for a kiss.

“You came to see me,” Jensen says.

“Obviously,” Jared retorts stupidly.

Jensen’s smile dims a little. “Did you come to yell at me for being creepy?”

“What? No,” Jared denies, and he wonders what that says about him because he never once thought of that as a possibility.

“Oh,” Jensen says, and it feels awkward. It’s a strange feeling because Jared has never had an occasion to feel this way around Jensen before. But he can’t feel any other way because they’re being watched and looked at and…

“So I came to let you know that I’m posting your bail,” are the words that come out of Jared’s mouth.

Jensen and the guard both look confused. “Can you do that?” Jensen asks.

“Well, I… we both know that Ryan was threatening you so that I’d come back to you. He totally made that crap up about you trying to kidnap me. I mean, I’m the supposedly threatened one, and my ex-boyfriend gets my current boyfriend arrested? Who believes that crap? Furthermore, why are the cops taking the words of a fancy defense attorney over the word of the guy that said attorney attacked? I think it’s bullshit, don’t you?”

Jensen’s face says that he thinks something is bullshit – or possibly bat shit insane, and that person’s name is Jared.

The guard, on the other hand, has already started sputtering and gibbering and making noises about talking to people.

All in all it doesn’t take too long for Jensen to get released. Jared has reason to believe that they didn’t follow proper protocols, but he doesn’t feel bad about that because he’s positive that they didn’t follow the right ones to arrest Jensen in the first place.

Thankfully, Jensen keeps his mouth shut through the whole releasing ordeal.

Jared waits in the hallway of the police station for Jensen to collect his personal affects that aren’t considered ‘evidence,’ and watches the clock tick over to midnight. He’s a little shocked when Jensen comes barreling into him, grabbing a hold of Jared’s lips with his own and kissing him like his very life depends on it.

His whole body is shaking, and Jared gives into the kiss without a thought. Immediately the tension leaks away from Jensen’s form, and Jared gently disengages him. He knows he must be the picture of confusion at the moment, but Jensen just looks relieved.

“Sorry about that,” he rasps to Jared, reaching up to thumb away the spit that’s clinging to Jared’s lips.

“Umm, it’s okay?” Jared asks more than says.

“Yeah, yeah. Just… let’s go, okay? I don’t like police stations,” Jensen answers.

Jared nods and turns to lead the way out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Jensen is pretty sure that Jared loves him. He came and broke him out of the slammer after all and told some ludicrous story about that scumbag human that got Jensen put in there in the first place.

And he let Jensen kiss him at the stroke of midnight, which was great because Jensen would’ve broken down and bawled right there on the yellowing linoleum if he hadn’t been able to kiss his one true love on the stroke of midnight. He would’ve let the humans take him to the funny farm before he’d have been the one to take the walk of shame back to the North Pole without his lover.

Sure he’d have missed out on making toys or reading all of those heart touching letters from the kids. And he’s miss all of the lights and the singing and the snow angels and the reindeer and the chocolate and candy canes and that promotion to naughty-nice list negotiator that he was a shoe in for and… He would’ve missed a lot about home, but he would have refused to go back without Jared.

He’d have broken rank and stayed with the humans, trying to make Jared take him back until he finally withered away from lack of Christmas spirit and cheer, evaporating as all elves do into a cheerful pile of Christmas colored sugar crystals.

With his luck, the timing of it would either have it happen right outside Jared’s door, or while Jensen was crossing the street. Worse: it would’ve probably happened near a sugar factory, and Jensen would’ve been packed up and sent to a bakery and sold to unsuspecting human children who would be committing unconscious acts of partial cannibalism.

Santa could’ve eaten him!

Jensen wouldn’t put it past Father Time to have done that. The old guy has always partially blamed Santa for the loss of Jensen’s mother’s heart even though he never had it to begin with. It’s only their fated, miraculous, meant-to-be love that got Jared to come down to the station and beat the system.

Of course, their struggle isn’t over yet, because Jensen only had December to get Jared to fall for him. Their relationship is shaky right now, and Jensen’s ride back to the North Pole is going to be jingling their way to him any minute.

They’ll probably come early. Jensen spoke with his elf buddy Steve, who became his buddy in fifth grade because Steve was mutually ostracized because of his love of all things tropical, and Steve said that he’d talk to his buddy Chris who was in charge of elf recovery and arrange for Jensen to get picked up last.

But Father Time has got to be pissed that Jensen foiled his plan, and Jensen is going to have to really sweet talk Jared if he expects his human to leave with him. Humans always have the option of backing out, and Jensen doesn’t want to be alone again.

“Jared,” he tries for the fifth time since leaving the station to start a conversation.

“I told you that we can wait to talk until we get back to my place. I don’t want to have an argument in the car,” Jared shuts him up again.

Jensen is worried that Jared assumes they’re going to get into an argument. This doesn’t bode well for Jared agreeing to move up north.

“But I have to leave tonight,” Jensen says.

Jared sighs, “I know that you think that Santa is coming to get you…”

“Santa is taking his winter nap right now,” Jensen corrects. Jared is going to have to go to remedial Christmas school for sure. There is going to be heckling about the local nerd bringing home a virtually Christmas illiterate mate: polite, adult heckling, but heckling all the same.

“Right. Look, Jensen. You’re a great guy. You’re warm and funny and sweet.”

Jensen beams at Jared’s compliment, and he can feel the heat of his blush working up to the tips of his concealed elf ears.

“But you need some help, Buddy,” Jared continues.

“Help with what?” Jensen asks.

“Just… help, you know?” Jared says gently.

It takes Jensen a couple of seconds to get out of his glow of basking in Jared’s presence to realize that Jared is calling him crazy.

“Fuck you,” Jensen swears. He’s had quite enough being looked down upon by his peers, he doesn’t need it from his mate as well.

“See, now that is the first normal response you’ve had,” Jared points out.

“Well fuck normal too,” Jensen seethes, his ears are still red, but it’s from anger now. “You’re just a non-believing jerk who walks around with his sad little life, letting some asshole take advantage of him, and then when he’s offered something better? Well I’ve got to be nuts, right? Nobody ‘normal’ can care about somebody else and want to spread cheer and love. I’ve gotta be off my meds, right?”

Jared’s jaw tics as he works his face before saying, “I told you that I didn’t want to fight in the car.”

“Well I didn’t want to spend time in the local jail either, but I didn’t get my wish, now did I? Unlike you who almost always got his present from Santa because you had an inside elf who always got your wish list bumped straight to the top. Did you like your radio controlled monster truck or your Rock-a-bye Baby that you couldn’t bring yourself to ask for from your parents because you were too embarrassed? How about your ten speed bicycle or that animatronic, barking puppy?” Jensen snaps, hurt flowing through him.

Jared jerks the car over and parks in front of his apartment instead of heading to the parking garage. The car lurches as he slams it into park.

“How did you know about that stuff? My God, have you been talking to my family?”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Yeah, tell me Jared how would I start that conversation, huh? ‘Oh, hey, I’m doing a survey. Are there any presents that your son got that you assumed your spouse purchased and put under the tree? Just your middle son, please, and could you tell me if he put them on his Santa list?’”

“You…”

Jensen holds up a hand. “No, I don’t want to talk to you right now. Just… I’ll go upstairs and wait for you. Wouldn’t want your car to get wrecked because some drunken reveler plowed into it on the street. I promise that I won’t steal your underwear or jerk off on your beer or anything creepy while I’m unattended.”

Jared looks like he doubts that, but he also looks pissed. Even though it won’t be much time apart, it’ll be enough to cool down a bit, and Jensen can see in Jared’s eyes that he realizes this.

Jared hands over the keys, and Jensen sends a prayer of thanks that he isn’t actually mentally unbalanced. His poor human wouldn’t do so great with an actual crazy person.

He slams the passenger’s side shut with a bang before stalking to the front of the building and viciously punching in Jared’s security code. All the way up to Jared’s floor, Jensen tries to figure out what he’s going to say to get Jared to come home with him. By the time he unlocks Jared’s door, he’s still got nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared takes the stairs up to his apartment. He needs to cool down and get his brain back online before talking to Jensen. He’s got himself mostly cooled down by the time he reaches his door. Only when he reaches it, he can hear Jensen arguing with somebody on the inside of the apartment.

At first he swears that Jensen is arguing with himself, and he wonders if he made such a great move breaking a crazy man out of lockup. No matter how much Jared might lo… feel sorry for him, Jensen might’ve been better off in there where he couldn’t hurt himself.

But then Jared can make out another, softer voice answering Jensen, and his pulse thrums in anger. There shouldn’t be anybody in the apartment except for Jensen, and crazy or not, Jensen isn’t the type of person to just let in a random person.

Jared throws the door open and is confronted with the sight of two reindeer and a… sort of short man standing in the middle of his living space.

“I told you that I can’t help it, Jensen! Mrs. Claus said…”

“Mrs. Claus is too chummy with Father Time. You know that she feels sorry for him. Did you ask Santa about this?” Jensen hisses.

“Dude, it’s New Year’s Day. It’s not like I’m coming for you early,” the short guy says. Jared’s eyes are probably bugging out on him due to the reindeer that are flanking either side of his couch, but he thinks that there are tiny, pointed ear tips peeking out between long strands of hair on the shorter man’s head.

“But…” Jensen sounds like he’s close to whining.

“Look, man, I feel for you. I do, but rules are rules, and if your boy doesn’t want to go…”

“But he kissed me! Under the mistletoe! He wants to go steady! And, and the New Year’s Eve kiss! I got it in on time. You can’t deny that.”

“I know what it says on your sheet, yes. And signs do point towards…”

“‘Signs point towards,’ are you a freaking Magic Eight Ball now?” Jensen sneers.

“Hey, man, just because my momma worked the eight ball line for fourteen freaking years, doesn’t mean that you have to make this personal,” the short man snips.

“She used them to pick your father out of the letters. Couldn’t even pick her own baby daddy,” Jensen taunts.

“Oh, that is so it, Freckles. No more Mr. Nice Elf,” the short guy threatens as he pushes up his sleeves.

One of the reindeer, baa-moo-whinnies, and stamps its hooves onto Jared’s recently shampooed carpets.

“Now boys,” it says chastisingly.

At least Jared thinks it is chastising them. It’s hard for him to tell given that he’s trying to get over the shock of a reindeer in his apartment that can talk.

“Rudolph, tell Chris that…”

“Jensen, I’ll tell him no such thing. I will, however, tell your young man over there that he will be the finest example of an idiot I will have ever seen if he doesn’t let you sweep him off his feet,” the reindeer says.

“Rudolph?” Jared croaks.

“My nose only shines when I want it to now, years of practice you know,” the reindeer answers as if he’s asked that question all the time. For all Jared knows he is.

“Is crazy catchy?” Jared asks as he stumbles farther into his apartment.

Chris rolls his eyes. “Bright one you picked there, Jensen.”

“Hey, leave Jared alone,” Jensen defends.

“You’re an elf?” Jared says dumbly.

“Uh, yeah?” Jensen’s response sounds a lot more like ‘duh’ than Jared is strictly comfortable with.

“And he needs you to choose whether or not you’re going to come home with him and start making with the merry or bah humbug him and stay here. Either way, Jensen’s coming back home with me in about three minutes,” Chris interrupts.

“Three minutes, but that’s I don’t have any time to even pack,” Jared says.

Jensen’s eyes light up a little with hope, and before Jared can correct the man’s, the elf’s misconception, Jensen is talking, “Don’t worry about that. We’re really good with sending somebody to pick up your stuff. You’re not going to want for anything. And Dad has done wonders for the whole disappearing act thing. Letters, phone calls – it’s all very modern now. No more unexplained absences in the age of technology.”

“But…”

“Okay, look, you don’t come with him, you’ll regret it the rest of your life. Funnily enough, the elves can move on, but the humans never do,” Rudolph says.

“Rudolph,” Chris growls.

“Whatever, Junior. I’m not supposed to interfere. Big whoop. You think they’re going to fire me from my own Christmas song? I’m a legend. You’re a lackey. Suck it.”

“Did Rudolph just tell him to…”

“He’s old and crotchety,” Jensen explains with a fond smile towards the reindeer.

“But…”

Chris sighs and looks at the ceiling. “Just go with your heart, man. I hate waiting.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The inside of Jensen’s cottage is cozy. Always has been since the day that he built it. He constructed it earlier than the other elves because if he had waited for a normal time, he would’ve ended up behind schedule. He still thinks of it as one of his few victories over Father Time.

But the bedroom has always been lonely. The bed is too huge for even Jensen’s tall frame and always too cold even with the fireplace that heats the room with a romantic glow.

“So,” Jared hesitantly says from behind Jensen, “whenever I kissed you and you tasted like peppermint, it wasn’t just your toothpaste?”

“Umm, natural elf flavoring? I usually use spearmint toothpaste, sometimes cinnamon to spice things up,” Jensen admits.

“Huh,” Jared says.

“I’m glad you came with,” Jensen whispers. He’s sure that his heart almost quit four or five times in the last twenty-four hours. With the being arrested and taken away from Jared, the sadness of knowing that he was going to watch midnight come and go from a cell, the moment of panic when he looked up at the clock to see that midnight was happening, and he wasn’t kissing Jared… just all of it.

Jared doesn’t respond, he just presses a kiss against Jensen’s cheek.

“So we should have sex, right?” Jared says.

“Oh, that’s romantic,” Jensen grumbles as he walks towards the bed, taking off his sweater as he goes.

“You’re not saying no,” Jared points out as he follows.

“Because I’m not a crazy loon like you spent most of the last few days thinking I was,” Jensen retorts as he opens his drawer to pull out lubes.

“Uh, you have a preference?” he asks Jared hesitantly.

“On what?” Jared asks.

“Flavor,” Jensen says. Do humans not ever pay attention?

“Flavor?” Jared repeats.

“Yeah, lube flavor?” Jensen asks waving the nearest bottle in front of Jared’s nose.

“You have flavored lubes,” Jared says flatly.

“Of course I have flavored lubes, Jared. Who would use non-flavored? The only elves that do that have mates that are allergic to the scents. You’re not allergic, are you?”

“No, not allergic just… umm, vanilla?”

“You’re vanilla?” Jensen asks. This might be a bit more difficult than he anticipated if Jared isn’t just a little kinky.

“What? No! Yes, kind… I meant the lube flavor,” Jared says with an overly expressive wave of his hand.

“Oh, well… okay then,” Jensen says as he puts the bottle down on his nightstand.

He fidgets nervously before shucking out of the rest of his clothes and sliding into bed. Jared laughs and shakes his head before removing the rest of his own clothes and sliding in next to him.

“This is awkward,” Jared says.

“Yeah, well, we got a pass on the not sexing thing because it isn’t written in the rules, but consummation is necessary,” Jensen says.

“I got that given how I was the one knocked out of the very fast moving sleigh when I hit Santa’s mystical bubble of doom,” Jared grouses.

“And you landed in a very soft snow bank,” Jensen reminds him, “and Santa let you in with hardly any cajoling on my part.”

“Yes, well, my childhood memories of Santa are ruined now. Santa shouldn’t tell you to have sex with your boyfriend. It’s wrong. Like getting condoms in your stocking or something,” Jared grouses even as he trails cold fingers up Jensen’s chest.

At that touch, Jensen’s cock decides it could really care less about how Jared’s delicate human sensibility can’t comprehend elven mating rituals because holy crap is he horny. His mate is right there in bed next to him, and he needs to do something about that right away.

With a soft rumble, Jensen turns and flips himself on top of Jared, taking a hard kiss from his lips. Their bodies rub against each other’s, and the friction is enough to drive Jensen mad with want.

Jared doesn’t complain or try to talk, and Jensen is very grateful for that because he’s nervous enough as it is. If he had to talk Jared into this, he’s not sure what he would do.

“How do you want me?” Jared asks when they break apart from their kiss.

“I…” Jensen blushes deep red. He knows how he wants Jared, but asking for that position first time out is probably not acceptable in the human world unless you’re just looking for a good fuck.

Jared smiles at him and pushes him off. Jensen has a split second of worry before he sees Jared turn over onto his stomach and part his legs. The blankets are still mostly covering both of them, but it’s still a blatant invitation – one that Jensen doesn’t plan on ignoring.

He yanks the coverings off, and Jared’s skin goose pimples at the sudden change in temperature. Jensen kisses away the little bumps, soothing and warming with his mouth and hands as he makes his way down Jared’s back.

Jensen’s cock is hanging full and hard between his thighs, the beginnings of his mating stripes starting to bulge out ever so slightly. He’d tried explaining elf physiology and mating rituals to Jared on their trip up, but it hadn’t been easy. Jared had been nervous around Chris and the reindeer, and the whole shock of Jensen being one of Santa’s elves hadn’t helped.

The chance that Jared actually processed the discussion of mating sex is pretty close to nil given the fact that Jared had been knocked out of the sleigh right after Jensen mentioned ‘for life’ and right before he told him about the whole striping thing.

And now they really need to just get on with it because the North Pole’s defense systems are going to kick Jared out if he isn’t fully mated to Jensen by the next day. Jensen loves Jared, and he’s been doing pretty good at adapting, but the whole swirling, knotting thing is a bit much to ask for on top of everything else.

At least, that’s what Jensen tells himself. After all – it always feels good to mates to have the swirling inside of them or around them. The female elves clamp down in tiny ridges of pleasure, and the males swell up and lock with their mates. It is a biological imperative to help them make children.

The elves are drawn to human mates, but their biological designs are different enough that they need some extra help in either impregnating or getting impregnated by their mates.

Not that any of that matters with Jared, but the point is that if he’s sort of vanilla, Jensen can’t see the knotting stripes thing going over all that well.

Still, he has to at least try to warn Jared. That doesn’t mean that he can’t play a little dirty.

He’s got three fingers up Jared’s ass, and his soon to be forever mate his humping the mattress like a champ when Jensen opens his mouth to talk. “Jared? There something you might want to know about my cock.”

“It better be that it’s getting shoved in soon,” comes Jared’s muffled reply from where he’s got his face mashed into a pillow.

“It is, just… it isn’t exactly human shaped,” Jensen hedges as he digs his fingertips in against Jared’s prostate.

“Fuck,” Jared moans, “Don’t worry about it, okay? Science lessons later, fucking now.”

Who is Jensen to deny a request like that?

He squirts a generous amount of lube into his palm and strokes it all over his cock, shivering in pleasure as his striping pushes eagerly up at his hand. His dick has always had nice, candy cane perfect swirls to it, and his ridges are already eager to lock him to his beloved.

He lines his head up with Jared’s hole, and they both moan as he pushes inside. Jared whines and rocks backwards encouraging Jensen first to go deeper and then, once he’s fully inside, to go harder.

Jensen groans as he plunges in and out of the tight heat of his mate, each push that much harder as his swirls grow and pulse in the tight heat of Jared’s body. He reaches a hand down between Jared’s legs and grabs hold of his comparatively smooth and ridge-less cock, stroking it and smearing its precome around, tugging on the lone ridge of its head on every stroke until Jared whimpers and comes, shooting white come onto Jensen’s sheets like a very wet snowfall.

Now that Jared’s gotten off, Jensen feels no shame in pushing inside his mate a few more times before shoving inside and wriggling just enough to make his swirls pop up and lock inside of his mate’s channel, plugging him full up, stretching that sweet, slick place even wider with its new girth and locking Jensen’s seed inside.

Jensen lets out a low moan as he begins to come, and Jared whimpers again as one of Jensen’s swirls keeps growing and pushing against Jared’s prostate. Tomorrow, when they’ve recovered, Jensen will take Jared to Mike the tattooing elf and get him his mating mark. A snowflake Jensen thinks it will be. Something to mark how special Jared is while still clearly marking him as Jensen’s.

“Fuck, Jensen,” Jared gasps, “What the hell is that?”

Jensen bites a little at Jared’s shoulder where he intends to put his claiming mark and answers, “Nothing. Just my candy cane, Baby.”

Jared’s responding groan isn’t one of pleasure, but the universal one used to respond to a bad pun.

It makes Jensen smile.


	2. Crisp and Even

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen drags Jared along to a special winter performance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Crack! Mentions of magical reindeer sexing and kinky elf anatomy, gooey sweetness.
> 
> A/N: his was written for Day Ten for my 12 Days of Christmas meme. It is a timestamp to Candy Canes and will make more sense if you read that first.
> 
> All mistakes that you find are my own.

“It’ll be fun!” Jared mocks under his breath as he tromps after his lover. There are never any trails blazed out in the wilderness at the North Pole. Oh no. The pathways in town are always perfectly groomed and the hiking trails in the summer are idyllic.

But in the winter? In the winter the snow outside of town is always sparkly, clean, crisp and even. The magic of the place erases footsteps, filling them in with fluffy flakes brought in by sparkling, magical winds. On more than one occasion, Jared has gotten lost trying to take a walk in the woods.

“It’s an awesome show. You’ll love it,” Jensen gushes as he breaks through the snow with far more energy than Jared is capable of possessing. It is an elf thing. Totally and completely an elf thing. Jensen loves Christmas. It gets his little elf motor going and turns him into this adorable chipmunk on crack.

A crack-chipmunk with pointed ears and a candy cane cock, but Jared isn’t going to think about that right now. He isn’t because he is going to see the ‘Lords of Leaping’ an all male reindeer flying troupe of ten. The last time that he took a walk out in a clear, starry night and watched reindeer fly, he got an eyeful of how baby reindeer are made.

So sex in any way, shape or form is not something that he thinks about when he is near flying reindeer. He is bound and determined to suppress the sight of reindeer getting it on. He’ll leave that to the reindeer farmers.

Not that the reindeer at the North Pole are real reindeer. They’re deer, sure, but they favor the looks of the deer on the old, Claymation Rudolph special more than they do actual reindeer. That and they can talk. Jared is really sure normal reindeer can’t talk.

Santa says they’re magical deer, and Jared has learned not to ask more than that. His boyfriend will turn into a pile of sugar crystals if he is in the ‘real’ world too long. Until he can come to grips with that little factoid, he is just going to leave Santa’s reindeer, how they fly and what their actual species is for another day.

“I love you,” Jensen says as he spins around in the pristinely sparkling snow, leans up on his tiptoes and kisses the tip of Jared’s pointy nose. He says that he adores Jared’s funny nose because it is pointy like Jensen’s ears. It makes him feel like they’re a part of each other.

Jared usually refrains from commenting back. Jensen’s elf cock is really, really weird, but it’s awesome to have sex with. Jared likes having sex with his soulmate, elf-mate… his Jensen. Jared likes the way that Jensen tastes of different candies and treats depending on his mood and the way that Jensen gets super excited when a boy or girl makes it off the naughty list.

If Jensen wants to love Jared’s pointy nose, Jared isn’t going to interfere with that. He has made the mistake of referring to Jensen as weird once. He is not going to relive the hellish experience that is a moping, hurt and depressed elf again.

“I love you too,” Jared says as he ducks his head and steals a real kiss. Jensen tastes like eggnog flavored hot chocolate. Warm and thick, and not nearly as good as when he tastes like hot buttered rum, but still tasty.

“Come on,” Jensen says, breaking the kiss. “We’re going to miss the show. The northern lights are supposed to be out tonight, so it’s going to be spectacular!”

Jensen grabs Jared’s hand as he starts walking again, and Jared finds himself breaking his own trail instead of carefully following Jensen’s. Somehow, he doesn’t mind.


End file.
